Tonight: Susan Sarandon, Whitney Cummings, and music from Angel Olsen!
Yeah, it’s not a joke title, but it’s everything — it’s the color black, it absorbs every meaning and every emotion.
Well, I also talk a lot about it in the special — like, what does love mean and blah blah blah, ‘cause I’ve been hurt a lot and I blame this word that we all throw around irresponsibly with no common or universal definition. We all have different expectations. It was causing me a lot of stress. I feel like all my relationships, all the fights end with, like, “But you said you loved me. How could you do this?” It’s this weird weapon, and I felt like I started hearing [it] from guys in lieu of saying calm down. They would say, “I love you,” which is a new euphemism for shut up.Ugh [laughs].
It was used to placate me, so I started resenting it a little bit. And something else I noticed was that my director said: At the end of every show, I said “I love you” to the crowd, and I didn’t even know that I did it. I was like, “No I don’t, that’s so weird,” and he played it back for me, and sure enough, at the end of every show, I say, “I love you.”Two of the key tenets of my existence is the presence of truth in comedy, and the inherent triumph of female comedians. I haven’t seen Whitney Cummings’ I Love You special, but this portion of the interview makes me desperately want to. Not only because I try to love everything Sarah Silverman loves, but also because this is the kind of tragic truth about my own romantic life that I have to laugh about. Like a lot of people, I get tangled up in all the shades of meaning to “I love you” that make it sometimes a weapon, sometimes a capitulation, and the thought of what gets lost in translation makes me break out in hives. There’s something deconstructionist about it too, that the literal words “I love you” and their meaning are never exactly the same, and you can’t bridge the gap between what you say and what you mean. Signifier vs. signified and the casualty is always my relationships. If we don’t laugh, we cry.